Life after lockdown: first at the bar or dreading the invite?

Peer pressure. We can feel it at all stages of life. From fashion choices to drinks after work and uni. Add to that the pressure of social media with tagged invites, posts and tiktok challenges. Social life has always fallen prey to peer pressure – how much you can drink, how late you can stay out, where to be on a certain night. But the global pandemic pressed pause on our behalf.

Strange as it sounds during a pandemic but, for many, anxiety reduced. During lockdown there was no pressure to go out-out. You couldn’t . Apart from virtually, over zoom or FaceTime. There was no FOMO that you’d be the only one not at a party. There was no pressure to be anywhere at a certain time. To wear certain clothes. To stay out late when you’d rather not be tired. You could avoid your triggers with ease. Avoid the pressure and fear of having a seizure in public.

You were safe at home. And more in control of your anxiety – For what probably felt like the first time, everyone was in the same boat.

With the change in restrictions approaching, it’s only natural to feel anxious. You’re not alone. Lots of people feel anxious. And they don’t have epilepsy to consider on top of avoiding Covid-19. It’s normal to feel stressed about social contact. It’s something you’ve been deprived of, that’s been out of bounds and culturally we’ve adapted. Going back to how things were in a pre-pandemic life feels a little alien – to a lot of people.

The Independent recently revealed results from a survey of 2,058 Britons, conducted by charity Relate, that 45% of people asked admitted they liked not having to worry about social plans when the UK was in full lockdown. And that’s not all, 40% said they were feeling anxious about socialising again and 23% claimed they’d forgotten how to socialise in a group. So, you’re not alone with your worries.

Clinical psychologist and researcher on social anxiety disorder at Oxford University, Emma Warnock-Parkes, explained to the Guardian, 

 “We’ve all been socially deprived this last year, and when you haven’t done something for a while, it can feel a bit strange going back into it.” The social rules may also have changed – do you hug? Do you need to wear a mask? “Some anxiety is understandable, so we need to give ourselves a bit of a break.”

And here’s how…

Protecting your mental health is as important as your physical health. You’ve done everything you can to stay safe throughout the pandemic and protect yourself, and your loved ones, from Covid-19. Maybe you’ve been shielding or have isolated for a considerable time longer as an extra precaution. You’ve put yourself first and been brave enough to say ‘no’ to social events – because it’s been the right decision for you. And nothing should be different as lockdown lifts. Protecting your mental well-being is essential.

Remember that you’re in control of your choices. If you don’t feel ready to socialise that’s ok. And it’s ok to say so. There’ll be many people who have never experienced anxiety in their lives before who will be nervous of returning to ‘normal life’. Your friends – if they’re true friends, will understand your worries and will be supportive.

Hopefully the world will be a kinder place as lockdown lifts. And social pressure will focus more on us respecting and accepting other’s choices than expecting everyone to conform to the majority.  Many people will re-emerge more cautious than before and will appreciate a slower paced social scene. Others may feel more confident and rush out to bars, clubs, parties, gigs and festivals. That’s ok too. But you choose the pace that suits you and take your time.

Whether you’re starting a new social circle at college, work or uni or trying to settle back into old ones, don’t feel you’re alone if social anxiety strikes. You’ll always find help on ‘The Hub’ and support from others who understand exactly how you feel.